Moving a loved one to assisted living is an incredibly difficult and emotional decision for families.
Realizing they cannot properly care for a loved one can be challenging for family caregivers to accept. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, worried, and guilty.
First, understand you’re not alone!
According to Consumer Affairs, seven out of ten people will require assisted living care in their lifetime.
Although guilt is normal, these feelings can be challenging to process and manage.
However, understanding that these emotions are common for families and navigating the guilt of moving a loved one to an assisted living community is possible.
Understanding Why You May Feel Guilty
It’s normal to feel like you’re letting your loved one down or that you always promised to keep them at home, no matter what happens.
You may have heard bad stories about long-term care, and you are afraid your loved one will not receive adequate care.
In addition, it’s common for family members to feel like failure because they cannot continue to care for their loved one.
You may also feel bad about seeing someone you love unable to care for themselves.
Watching a loved one struggle to bathe, use the restroom, dress, eat, or care for their home is emotionally devastating.
Accept Your Feelings of Guilt Are Normal
Accepting and acknowledging your guilty feelings is essential. These feelings are normal and show how much you love, care for, and respect your loved one.
But understand that just because you feel guilty, the decision to move a loved one to assisted living isn't wrong.
Caring for a loved one is a huge responsibility, and even the most dedicated family members can reach a point where they cannot provide adequate care.
But knowing this does not make it any easier, especially if your loved one is someone who has always cared and been there for you, such as a parent or grandparent.
Give yourself some grace and put your energy into finding an assisted living community that meets your loved ones’ needs.
Focus on the Benefits of Assisted Living
Although moving a loved one to assisted living can initially be challenging, many seniors thrive in assisted living communities.
Assisted living communities are designed for older adults who value their independence but need assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as bathing, toileting, dressing, grooming, and eating.
These communities are full of healthy, socially active seniors who want to meet and connect with their peers in a fun and vibrant environment.
Allegro assisted living communities focus on personalized support, combining the conveniences and comfort of community living with the independence of private apartments.
Let’s look at some of the benefits Allegro assisted living residents enjoy:
- Daily help with bathing, dressing, and grooming
- Housekeeping services
- Personal laundry services
- Beauty and nail salon
- Fitness studio
- Chef prepared meals
- Swimming pool
- Movie theater
- Planned social activities and events, such as happy hours and outside entertainment
- Continuing education classes
- Healthcare services, such as physical and occupational therapy
- Safe and secure environment
- Spacious one-bedroom and two-bedroom apartments
Ask for help
Finding the right assisted living community can be complex and time-consuming. Talk to friends and family, ask for help, and seek recommendations.
If your guilt becomes overwhelming, seek the help of a therapist or support group to help manage your emotions and navigate this transition.
Involve Your Loved One
Involve your loved one in the process. Ask what activities, culture, services, and amenities would make them happy.
Involve them in assisted living tours so they can ask questions, see the community, choose their living space, and talk to residents.
Stay Involved
High-quality assisted living communities welcome family involvement.
Family involvement contributes to a loved one's health and happiness, whether by coordinating their health care with staff, making regular phone calls, sharing a meal, picking them up for family events or holidays, or participating in an activity.
Wrap-up
Navigating the guilt of moving a loved one to assisted living is a complex and emotional journey.
By understanding and acknowledging your feelings, focusing on the benefits, involving your loved one, asking for help, and staying involved, you can effectively manage your feelings.
Remember, moving a loved one to assisted living comes from love and concern for their health, happiness, and well-being.
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