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Meaningful Ways to Celebrate Your Loved One on Veterans Day

To the brave men and women who served in the U.S. Armed Forces, we honor you and your families this Veterans Day… and every day. Veteran's Day is on November 11th. There are 9.2 million veterans age 65 and older, who are beyond deserving of recognition and appreciation for their service. Here are several purposeful ways to celebrate this special time with a veteran loved one.

Accompany the veteran to a Veterans Day parade, a luncheon or a national park.

Parades are usually the biggest and most colorful way to spend the day. Many restaurants offer a free meal for ex-service members. A National park is a fun place to enjoy nice fall weather. The parks have free entry on this day.

Enjoy a special family gathering at home.

Raise a flag, tell family stories, play games and sing patriotic songs. It’s okay for family and friends to ask your veteran loved one to tell his or her favorite military stories. This can be a touchy subject, but the key is to be thoughtful with your questions. Your loved one will say as much as he or she feels comfortable. Search here for a list of questions you can ask and questions you may want to hold off on asking.

Seek out a veteran at home.

Offering your time is a small sacrifice to pay, especially for someone who may not be able to get around as much. Loneliness is a growing concern among older adults that can lead to increased health risks. Companionship will add a meaningful emotional contact for you and the veteran. You may take over a home-cooked meal, help to mow the lawn, run errands, or simply sit with the veteran and enjoy a favorite movie or television show. Be familiar with the difference between Veterans Day (honoring those who served) and Memorial Day (honoring those who passed away while in the service). Avoid wishing a former service member “Happy Memorial Day,” when he or she is still very much with us.

 Visit a senior veteran in senior housing.

Senior living communities have a variety of special activities to celebrate Veterans Day. Many of the residents welcome the chance to socialize and share their experiences. Check out what’s happening at your neighborhood assisted living or other senior housing community. Be sure to wear your favorite red, white and blue and bring along a game, photos, or home-baked goodies.

Help a veteran check with the Veterans Benefits Administration (VBA) for any unclaimed benefits.

Aid and Attendance is one such financial benefit that is often overlooked. This benefit assists veterans 65 and older, or a surviving spouse to pay for care in the home or senior housing. If an older veteran is considering senior housing, you may contact a trusted senior living advisor with Allegro Senior Living for answers to basic VA benefits questions. Or, seek help from a VA-accredited veteran advocate known as a Veteran Service Officer (VSO). If time and distance don't allow you to spend time with a veteran loved one in person, consider reaching out in other ways:

• Phone
• Letter
• Care package
• Card
• Photos
• Email
• Facetime

As we approach November 11, Veterans Day, taking ten minutes or ten hours to recognize how much someone who served means to you can make a positive difference in your loved one’s life, and yours too. What’s one way you can think of to honor a veteran this Veterans Day? Allegro Senior Living communities are busy preparing to honor veterans on Veterans Day. Check out your local community to find out what activities are available.…

Drop the Guilt When Caring for a Loved One

You know those nagging feelings that tug at your soul and tell you that you should do something like— visit mom more often? That’s caregiver guilt. You are not alone. Most caregivers relate to feelings of guilt, resentment and being overwhelmed. Caregiving is rewarding, yet still feels like you’re holding up a boulder when trying to live up to your own expectations and those of others. Learning ways to manage caregiver guilt can make you feel like a load has been lifted off your shoulders. The better you feel, the better care you will be able to give to your loved one.

Guilt can be a positive or negative emotional experience

On the positive side, a little guilt can motivate you to have healthy social connections. “I forgot dad’s birthday. I need to call him today,” is a good use of guilt. An article in Harvard Business Review shows that people in the workforce who are guilt-prone tend to get higher performance ratings and are viewed as better leaders. Too much time and energy focused on guilt can have negative outcomes: feeling like a bad person, passing up joyful activities, or fueling a mistaken belief that you wronged someone when you didn’t. What’s more, guilt-prone feelings reduce creativity, productivity and focus–according to an article in Psychology Today.

How do you know if you are struggling with caregiver guilt?

Caregiver guilt follows thoughts like: I am not doing enough to help dad with his care. I broke my promise to keep mom at home. I shouldn’t get angry with my parents.

Helpful ways to let go of caregiver guilt

Banish negative self-talk Become aware of what you say to yourself. Replace negative self-talk with positive reinforcement when it pops up. Remind yourself that it is normal to feel guilty in this situation—you are only human. Practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Practice an attitude of gratitude There are many wonderful scientific benefits to looking for the good in life: lower blood pressure; improve sleep; increase joy, compassion and forgiveness and reduce loneliness. Name one or more things that you are grateful for each day. Write them down in a journal. Silently repeat gratitude affirmations or speak them out loud. Share with others Too often caregivers accept the myth that they should swallow their feelings. Letting others know what you are feeling is much better for everyone involved. Call up a friend who understands what you are going through to chat on the phone or meet up for tea, or join a caregiver support group. Find a group that fits with your unique situation. Include music and movement The power of moving to your favorite song does wonder for your mind and body. Walking, going to the gym, dancing and doing yoga are good choices. Laugh a lot They say laugh at the world and the world laughs with you. Laughter enhances your health by lowering stress, uplifting mood, easing pain and making it easier to deal with tough situations. Surround yourself with photos, quotes, screensavers and comics that make you laugh. It’s a relief to know that these feelings are a normal part of the caregiver’s journey. Taking the time to add self-care helps to do away with caregiver guilt and boosts guilt-free living. It’s a practice you will need to revisit often. (Here’s a tip: start with a small goal with a built-in reward so you can’t fail like taking five minutes to sing and dance to your favorite music.) Do you struggle with caregiver guilt? What is one way that you take care of yourself?…